For better or worse, things do not always go as planned in a relationship. Most likely, we will all experience at least once in our lives a separation we did not want. Which was not our choice. There is a way to overcome a separation more easily! Every separation is a loss of a part of our lives. As difficult as it may seem to us, all difficulties are overcome. All you need to do is show us the way, because when we are emotionally involved, we cannot “see” clearly on our own. See what to do to move on after he divorced you!
1. Keep your distance from him
When I say ‘get away’, I mean it. In any possible way! We have all more or less gone through the phase where, in our attempt to change things, we find reasons to communicate with an ex. “Ah! It’s his birthday today, let me send you formal wishes!” or “It’s New Year, I must wish!”. It does not go that way. You are kidding yourself. It is futile. We are so hung up on the hope that something will change, that we get caught up in every other word, misinterpreting the “style” that responded to the wishes, the emoji or whatever we find, believing that something means. It means nothing. The other person has chosen to take you out of his life and you have to accept it in practice. Stop searching on social media what he does, where he is, what he uploaded, with whom, etc. The only thing you can do is stay behind and suffer longer. If you can not resist the temptation, block his account. Do not try to learn news and information from common acquaintances. Focus on your own life. Only then will you be able to move forward with time.
2. Do not fall head over heels in a new relationship
It is the easy solution for such moments. We all believe that “love with love passes” and that if we start a new relationship immediately, the pain will pass faster. This, as you understand, is a myth. You will only succeed in tormenting another person, as you will not have real feelings for the new one. Your only thought will be to take photos with the new bass and the old one can see it on instagram. Or maybe an acquaintance succeeds and transfers it to the former. It is another way to torture yourself. Because until you overcome your old love, every moment in the arms of your new “love”, you will wish to be in the hands of your ex. It is not healthy. Try to give yourself time. Love him. Accept the elements of your character and move on. Love does not go anywhere. You will find them as soon as you are ready. Take your time and little by little everything will come by itself!
3. Let yourself feel
According to the science of psychology, every separation we experience is like experiencing mourning. We go through the exact same stages. These stages, more or less, are: denial, anger, negotiation, sadness, acceptance. our whole soul some or all of the above stages. So do not oppress yourself. He got angry, shouted, cried, hurt. They are all emotions. And everything is normal. When you experience all the stages freely, you will begin to realize what happened. This will gradually take you to the acceptance stage. Thus, you will be able to overcome your separation.
4. Keep your mind busy
It makes sense that when we have a problem, the more we think about it, the bigger it seems to us. Respectively and with an unexpected separation that we did not choose, it is better to keep our mind as busy as possible. Depending on your character you will find what helps you best. Working overtime in the office? Running with your glued house and running a marathon with your favorite series? Dying in the gym online or running on the beach?
Whatever you prefer, try to keep your mind alert. Deal with things as much as you can during the day, so that there is not much time left that you will just sit in a chair and think all day and all night about your misery. Believe me, it works, even if you have to deal with pressure in the beginning with different things!
We said, you do not need to face a new relationship, but that does not mean that you will be isolated in a house and will not see a person. Try, even if you are not in the mood at first, to be open to suggestions from friends. Try to stay “active” in your life. Be receptive to the efforts of friends and acquaintances for groups, joint programs, etc. Your goal will not be to find the next one. Your goal should be to have a good life and realize that you do not “need” someone next to you to do it. You will build relationships with colleagues, you will strengthen ties with friends, you will meet friends of friends. And in the end, you never know. Maybe if you are ready, it will be the way you will meet the next one at some point, after overcoming the separation. Conclusion: Do not forget that always, after every separation, we drown in despair. We feel he was the “one”. That there will be no other. Experience will show you that this is the greatest myth! Keep it in your mind and when the time comes, you will remember me!